- You won’t have any more special time to spend with your oldest. This one is huge! As soon as I saw the positive line on the pregnancy test when my baby was only 1 year old- I started to cry for this exact reason! Yes, it might take time for you to come out of the newborn haze and spend some special time with your oldest again. But hey, newborns sleep- A LOT. I’ll often ask my oldest what she wants to play with me once I’ve fed and changed the newborn and she’s nice and settled for a nap. Whether it’s running out for an ice cream, reading a book, playing in her sprinklers, or building some play-doh shapes- we have a little bit of time every day that’s just the two of us still. Don’t worry.
- They will NEVER sleep at the same time. As it is with anything in parenting, things are always shifting and changing. This includes bedtime and nap time schedules. Of course you will have those days where one woke up right when the other went to sleep and one kept you up all night long, but this will not be all the time, and it won’t last forever! I sleep way more now with two than I slept the whole time my oldest was under 10 months. Even if a no-sleep phase is lasting longer than you want it to, it WILL NOT last forever. Don’t worry.
- Will I love my second one the same way I love my first? It’s just so insane we even worry about this but it happens! It’s only because it’s hard to picture feeling the immense love you feel for this new baby you haven’t met when you have been getting to know and fall in love with your toddler since the moment they were born. Here’s the thing- first baby or tenth baby- they are still your baby. The moment you meet them, you’ll know you feel exactly the same. Don’t worry.
- I won’t get the same bonding time this time that I got with my first, because I will be too distracted by my toddler. Of course this is not a distraction you had to worry about last time. Every day with your firstborn was uninterrupted cuddles, bonding and being in your little newborn bubble. Well, your toddler WILL pop your newborn bubble that’s for sure. But just like you will still find balance to have that special time with your older child, you will find the same thing for your newborn. Maybe your toddler spends the afternoon with dad or Grandma, or takes a good, long nap. But at the very least, when your toddler goes to bed at night, you have those middle of the night times together. Yeah, you might be exhausted. But try to take at least one moment every night just to snuggle them close and enjoy that peace and calm where it’s just the two of you. Don’t worry.
- My toddler will hurt the newborn accidentally or on purpose. My babe is not necessarily rough or violent, but every toddler has the capacity for this behavior at any moment. I remember feeling so much anxiety about random things, like my toddler throwing a toy at her little head or running on the couch and stepping on her. Your toddler will quickly learn, this little baby is not to be played rough with. Maybe you have to yell a few times when they are flirting with disaster, but they will learn. And on some very hyper days, you’re just gonna have to play offense all day. 🤷🏻♀️ Don’t worry.
- My toddler will not adjust well to this big change in our family. I was so worried my older daughter would become super jealous of all the attention the new baby would get, and that she would stay super attached to me. She quickly figured out that she just needed to rely more on daddy for every day things and let mommy breastfeed and care for baby sissy at times. Like everything else, this could take time, or they could take right to the big bro/sis role from day one. Either way, DON’T WORRY mama!
As my 39th week kicked off with no signs of labor, my doctor decided the risks of induction outweighed the risks of waiting her out. I had a history with my first daughter of shoulder dystocia, macrosomia, and postpartum hemorrhage. So we packed our bags, tucked Ellie in bed at Grandma’s house and headed to the hospital at midnight for our second induction.
We had two or three scheduling complications. We were send home from our first induction because I was so sick and weak with a cold and sinus infection that they didn’t want to start the induction process. Three days later we went in again and they informed us that they had scheduled us for the precious night, and now we would have to wait and see if one of my doctors would be available to come in for an induction tonight. After a stressful wait in the lobby they finally told us we would be admitted, and wouldn’t be leaving the hospital without a baby again!
We spent 5 hours in a small triage room while the pitocin did its thing. My lovely husband got a nap in, while I mostly watched tv and attempted sleep over and over. The contractions were tight and uncomfortable but for the most part not painful. I finally drifted off around 5:45 a.m. to be rudely awoken by my water breaking at about 6:05 a.m.
Finally, it was time to make the move to our real labor room! Almost instantly after my water broke I was in real-deal pain! The doctors broke my water in my first labor, and I already had an epidural at that point! So this severe pain was new to me! I was ready for an epidural after about an hour of this, but of course it was time for a hospital shift change and I would have to wait another hour.
The epidural this time around brought some relief, but didn’t take on the left side of my body. I felt SO much pressure and pain compared to feeling nothing during my first labor.
They came in to check my dilation at noon and I was only at a 5. I felt really discouraged at that point, and thought that it was going to be a long, long day.
They continually came in to adjust my epidural as I was informing them (very calmly I’m sure) that it was not doing its job. 😂 I wasn’t sure why this hour was SO intense!
Around 1 o’clock I started feeling IMMENSE pressure and like I needed to push. They checked and sure enough I was at a 10. Now the intensity of that last hour made sense! They told me for what was probably about 20 minutes, but felt like two hours, that my doctor was on her way. 🙄 But I needed to push, like now. We gave all our family the call that it was time to head to the hospital!
When the doctor finally came in I was feeling it big time and ready to push!
This is where I felt an advantage over my first delivery. Last time, they had to tell me when to push because I couldn’t feel the contractions coming at all! This time, being able to feel it sped my process along as I was much more aware of what was happening with my body. It may have been more painful but if I had to do it again, I would choose this labor experience over my first one.
I was able to actually feel the moment I gave birth to her this time and immediately pull her up to me for skin to skin. There’s no feeling in the world like holding your baby for that first time and hearing that big cry that means they are healthy.
After about 20 minutes Ember was all cleaned up and we brought Ellie in to meet her. Ellie was tired from skipping her nap, and a little confused. But she was still really happy to see her “baby sissy.”
Ember was born at 2:10 p.m. weighing 9 lbs, and was 22 inches long. We got another big, healthy girl!
It all started to come back to me- the breastfeeding latching, spit up, swaddling, and newborn diapers.
I didn’t sleep much in our one night stay there, mostly because she kept spitting up/ choking on amniotic fluid. I didn’t know anything about this, but they told me it’s really common for babies who were born quicker. Less time in the birth canal=less time for them to get rid of the fluid. This was the first thing that told me, “Hey! This baby is going to come with a totally new set of problems you didn’t know about the first time around!”
24 hours after she was born, we got the clean bill of health to go home!
I couldn’t be happier thinking back on these two days we spent bringing Ember into the world. ❤️
Wow. The last two weeks have been a total whirlwind! But this is definitely a time of life I never want to forget!
What can I say about this girl? She has adjusted to being a big sister like a CHAMP! I am blown away by her, to be honest.
I was so worried that she would be jealous or rough with the baby. She has been a super generous helper and so gentle with baby sissy. She acts like her little sister has always been a part of her family and I’m so proud of the big girl she’s becoming.
She loves to give baby sissy toys and headbands and bring me diapers and wipes, and even water while I’m breastfeeding! Every night she asks to say night-night to baby sissy, and every morning she wakes up and asks where she is. I can’t believe the capacity for change and love Ellie has at such a young age. ❤️
Ember has been a little dream baby! She is so mellow and cuddly! She is a little champion sleeper. At two weeks old she is still sleeping through the night. (Although I rouse her once in the middle of the night to feed her- per doctor’s instruction.)
The only problem we have is that she has a lip and tongue tie like her big sister, which is making breastfeeding a little harder. For a while, I could only get her to take pumped bottles. With lots of patience, we have gotten to a point where she can latch every time. It has been slightly exhausting, because I feel constantly worried that she wasn’t eating well enough. Tomorrow we have a consultation with the doctor who corrected Ellie’s lip tie, and we will decide if Ember’s needs corrected as well.
After a difficult pregnancy and being so sick during labor, I’m still just over the moon that she is here with us- happy and healthy.
I am blown away by how quickly my body has recovered the second time around. The labor process may have been more difficult this time, but the recovery has been SO much smoother. My body seems to just remember how to heal. The pain and soreness wore off in a matter of days this time instead of weeks.
I am mentally recovering a little slower than physically. Even though I generally feel happy and blessed to have these two beautiful girls, the postpartum hormones have made me more emotional than I’d like to be. It’s usually happy tears I’m crying, but I still wish I wasn’t this emotional! I can tell already that life with two under two will be difficult. However, so far those super stressful “they both need me at the same time” moments that I thought would happen all the time have been pretty few and far between.
I feel so incredibly lucky to have these two. Overall, this time period has been filled with lots of happiness, love and cuddles. What more can you hope for with a newborn in the house?
I just want to start this post by stating- this is not a sponsored post!
I love working with brands I love but I also love reviewing things that I am not affiliated with so you always know the opinions expressed are 100% real!
This before and after picture I will share will really speak for itself; but here is the bottom line- Bio-Oil is AMAZING.
With my first pregnancy I relied only on a stretch mark massage lotion, with the second pregnancy only on Bio-Oil.
I couldn’t believe that it was possible, but I had far less visible stretch marks after my second pregnancy than my first!
So not only did the oil keep me from getting more marks during the pregnancy, but it visibly lessened the look of the ones I had from the first time around!
*Both photos unedited and taken at 1 week postpartum.
I recommend this product to any mamas-to-be as the best way to combat stretch marks!